IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Joke: New Years Resolutions For Pets
12. Have a torrid one-night stand with a street mutt.
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New Years Resolutions for Pets 12. Have a torrid one-night stand with a street mutt. 11. Try to understand that the cat is from Venus and I am from Mars. 10. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener. 9. Circulate petition that Leg Humping be a juried competition in major dog shows. 8. Call PETA and tell them what that surgical mask-wearing freak does to us when no one is around. 7. Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds. 6. Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a rat on 'roids, or they'll flush my ass. 5. Always scoot before licking. 4. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much. 3. Get out of the castle more, maybe swim counter-clockwise this year. 2. January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock! January 2nd - December 31: Re-live victory over the sock. AND the Number 1 New Year's Resolutions Made by Pets... 1. I will NOT chase the damned stick unless I see it LEAVE HIS HAND. |
 | Rating: |   3.0 | Votes: 3 | Views: 2,280 |
| Posted: | February 15th, 2008 | |
| Keywords: | new years, resolutions, pet, dog, cat |
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